Aries (March 21-April 19)
Is the state of the world stressing you out? Don’t worry! It’ll all change soon enough, and we’ll have something else to complain about. Instead, enjoy a few Mai Tais on the beach. Perhaps check out South Beach, Florida, where the beautiful people live. Even if you can’t enjoy that, try to get a little fun from a $25 margarita. Salud!
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You may experience a little trial that feels like a big one this week. Don’t let it get to you. Remember, don’t take life too seriously, because we won’t get out alive. Take some advice from Steve Stucker from Channel 4 news: “take some time to really enjoy your life today.” Today is the only day you really get. Have fun!
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
You have a decision to make. It may mean choosing between dating someone outside your culture, getting a new job, or even where to get dinner. The little decisions add up. If you feel overwhelmed and your former boyfriends say it’s like dating 12 different girls, don’t lose heart. There’s someone out there for everyone. Madame G recommends reading up on politics, the economy, or tech innovations. You’ve got this.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Someone recently said if you can’t be positive, don’t be negative. This means, no matter what happens, you’re not entitled to stab people, or yell at them. It may seem logical to have these psycho-style slaughter sessions in your head, but people will pick up on your hostility. Put that rage to work. Go for a run. Read a great book. Invent the next great thing. Live well!
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
You’re full of untapped energy. You have projects, projects, and projects galore. Do your best to restrain yourself. You’ll accomplish more if you pick one thing and set it to rights. Complete it and put a stamp on it before you move on to the next one. Choose your projects wisely. Carefully plan your next move, and set your goals. Don’t panic.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You’ll notice that people seem remarkably rational today. It won’t last. The influence of Venus in Virgo creates an interesting zone for decision-making. It’s best to work with bosses and difficult people before this window passes. If you’re on vacation and living it up, don’t worry, you’ll still gain from this. People will automatically think of you when making decisions. Perhaps they’ll have a “what would Virgo do” moment. Smile!
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.22)
You’re down for some fun. But it seems to be missing from each and every corner. Sometimes life hits these seemingly dull moments where nothing happens. The baby is growing well, but no longer an infant, or the job is no longer new — but not old. When you hit these mid-points, consider taking this time to reflect. Do your planning now, and start aiming your thoughts where you’d like to go. You’ll be so glad you did.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You’re ready! You’re ready for action, adventure, and whatever life throws at you. A quick vacation or mental-health day did the trick and you’re ready to jump out shooting. If you haven’t taken a day for yourself — it’s best that you do. Whether it’s snorkeling in the Atlantic or sipping orange mojitos on the beach reading a Ransom Rigg’s novel—you’re ready. You’ve definitely got this! But don’t let the bastards get you down.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Live it up! You’re getting organized. It’s a wonderful idea. Even if you handwrite the days of the week on the wall and write everything in with a sharpie, you’re well on your way. Do you best and don’t forget to add in room for travel. You may not want to put things too close together or chance missing the alarm. If you fail a little, just learn and move on to the next day. You’re a superstar!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You’re on it and you’re likely fed up with it. You may feel like enjoying a nice cup of tea today before dealing with all your responsibilities. You may be the designated guardian for your kids and their pets, but don’t worry it; won’t last. Madame G recommends heading out on a vacation or adventure all by yourself. It may provide the clarity you need. Beware of being too mean or judgmental this week. Show kindness!
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’s a wise thing to learn by example. You’re good at changing it up. Consider attending a seminar or class that pushes you to act towards your goals. You’ll be so glad you did. You’re only incapable of changing the world if you think you are. But first, start with yourself. If you can change, anyone can learn from you. Do your best!
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
The world is crazy and as much as you love your loved ones — you’re ready to watch them go. If your grandkids or nephews and nieces came to visit you for the summer — it’s OK to want your life back. School is starting soon, and soon you won’t have to entertain the masses. Live it up and give them a big hug; bon voyage!