Madame G guide to the stars WEEK OF DECEMBER 31


Dashing through the snow…Or not. Here in New Mexico, the idea of a “White Christmas” is hit or miss — of course, snow does happen. Regardless of holiday blankets of white, though, snow doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having a good time. Madame G recommends instead of following someone else’s idea of a good Christmas or life, why don’t you make up your own version. I bet yours is better anyway.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You’re not perfect and the world is going to disappoint you. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You also don’t have to lower your standards. You can maintain a high standard of excellence for yourself and still exert the least amount effort worrying about it. Instead, take action when you can and let go of the shit you just can’t change. All will be well or it won’t.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Take care of yourself for no one else will. You happiness, for better or worse, is yours — own it. Think of happiness as a tent, with you standing outside because you loathe camping. But once inside, you’re fine and settle in. Get cozy with happiness.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You’re a funny one. When you finally find the answer, you look for another one. Well, that keeps you interesting and full of piss and vinegar. You can do better. Everyone needs a break. It’s time to take some time to reevaluate your situation. This is not the beginning or end, unless you say it is and that calls is yours to make. Think before you make this step and then let go.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Quit your crying it’s only the holidays. Everyone hates them they just pretend to enjoy them. These people usually have children. Everyone else acknowledges that this is annoying, but we get through it like anything else. You can, too. It’s almost over and then we can enjoy the long winding road toward oblivion. In the meantime, Happy Holidays.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Well hang on to your butts—this is gonna to be a wild ride. Let’s get ready to rumble, or some other silly movie trope. Whatever the case, have some fun! Break out the eggnog and shoot some whiskey in it, unless you’re doing AA, in which case — good for you! Drink that eggnog. Life is short, have two eggnogs. Enjoy!

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Well, that escalated quickly. Good luck! And remember to have fun. I am short on words for you this week, but know your adventure chariot awaits you my pretty, so get in, buckle up and race onward. Keep an open mind.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.22)

This coming year, Madame G recommends you consider taking a different route than the one you normally take. You have the option to open up to those around you and discover something new, or do what you’ve always done. Be cool. Try something new and remember, if you hate it, you can always go back to the boring tried and true. It’s your choice. Good luck!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

So Scorpio, you’ve got this weird hang-up — you hate to be wrong. You’re often misunderstood and you usually have a handle on everything, but once in a while, you miss the mark by a smidge. In the end, you’re odds are pretty good and you can take it all to the bank. But it’s a good time to remember everyone makes mistakes and you’re no exception. Have fun with the novelty.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Keep trying and stop acting like this is the end of the world. You are more than capable if you put your mind to it. In the end, your life is what you make it. Put your hands on the steering wheel and your foot on the gas and get going. Now is the time to keep working and pushing yourself forward. Your life is yours to live and love.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Don’t give up on your dreams. This is the time to change your life. Take a deep breath and smile. It ain’t over until it’s over. Don’t give up. Be the little engine that could and say: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” Then you’ll know that you can because you’ll have done it. Good luck! Your heart is in the right place.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Feliz Navidad, Aquarius! Be sure to utilize that wicked sense of humor, at all of your holiday gatherings this year. Enjoy your company and don’t take anything too seriously. People will appreciate your stories and charisma. If you decide to spread holiday cheer this season, don’t hold back.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Try to focus yourself amidst the chaos this holiday season. It’s almost over and your hard work will surely pay off. Enjoy the festivities as much as you can. Continue your hard work toward everyone’s enjoyment. It will not go unnoticed. And let the New Year begin. Pucker up fish lips and and open your heart to all the goodness coming your way.