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guide to the stars WEEK OF Dec. 18 – Dec. 24

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Is Mercury in Retrograde? Nope. It’s you. Lately it seems as if something is wrong with the universe. Everyone is working against you and humanity. Is it the stars or are people just crazy? Have no fear Madame G is here to keep the paranoia at bay mostly.

 

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Bored? Patience is a virtue, but not your virtue. That’s okay we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Your abilities reside in that generous heart and tenacious spirit. Just watch your temper. We’re not all as quick as you. Everyone has stress and distractions, but that doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Just breathe and try something new.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Your heart says pizza, but the waistline says apples. Madame G suggests yoga and fun activities. This holiday season don’t forget your purpose and knock out the hard stuff. Remember to eat consciously and not because the stress is piling up. Lifestyle changes are about just that, a lifetime commitment to you. Honor your body—it’s the only one you’ve got.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Facing down danger is your middle name. But, this is a whole new ball game and your loving it. The redesign phase is immanent. Who knew they’d have so many issues? One part of you, the fixer, revels in the challenge. The realist in you is ready to crack your knuckles and pull a Holly Holmes. Knock out!

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Right now you’re as tough as eggshells. It’s that time of year. The holidays are a contentiously joyous occasion. Remember that you’re the author of your life’s story. It’s the messy unpublished version without edits. Next time life goes awry just stop and shout: “plot twist.” Trust yourself to make the right decisions and move forward.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Hero worship is not about the idol. It’s about the person doing the cajoling. Devotion touches a deep need in some individuals. How lovely that you inspire them. You’ll never live up to their expectation, but try to live according to your own. Take pride in your work and assume humility because no one gets there alone and it’s lonely at the top.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

When life gives you lemons make yellow snow. You’re a trendsetter and motivational speaker. You learned early on that slow and steady wins the race. This tried and true method is the best way, right now. Sometimes it’s hard to balance all the plates in the air. If anyone can do it, you can and will. In fact, you’ll shine and polish them as well.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.22)

Madame G recognizes the struggle is real. It’s hard to balance your fear of rejection with your desire for perfection. Some sacrifices are worth it and this may be one. You’ll get it right. But if you don’t, it’ll still be well done. Your standard is often much higher than others. Trust yourself, but don’t neglect your dreams. Now is a good time to put that creativity to work.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Is that frustration or constipation in your eyes? Your iron will is pushing the project forward. But it’s far more involved than you first thought. Everyone wants to wallow in the status quo. You can’t and won’t work under those conditions. It’s a good thing you’ve learned diplomacy because you’re digging up a mass grave of skeletons. Gently demand that those in your way should lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Life is finally setting itself to rights. You’ve put in your time and it’s nigh. The good life is always around the corner. Don’t be afraid to dig past what’s been done for generations. Move past the ever-stagnant waters. If everyone drinks dirt would you? Probably not, but other behaviors are just as bad. Search for the answers and be honest, with yourself.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Pushing the body to the limits is great for marathoners and tri-athletes, but first consult your physician. It’s important to live up to you own expectations just don’t kill yourself in the process. Enjoy the little things not just indulgences. Beauty lives in the sounds and smells of nature. There is color in a voice and song. And they don’t cost a dime.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You’re tracking down the villains and lecturing them. Not everyone learns from mistakes. Plenty of people live their lives on repeat. They cycle from one bad decision to another in a continuous cycle of despair. You can’t lecture someone into listening, even if you’re right. They won’t appreciate it and it’s not worth your energy. 

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Make amends with loved ones. You’ve been in this boat before. You demand control over their lives, for their own good, and it backfires. It’s best to let it go. Your symbol goes with the flow, but occasionally you get sucked into saying what you don’t really mean. Do yourself a favor. Learn to listen with a degree of dispassion. You’ll make everyone, including yourself, much happier.