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Monday, Oct 23rd

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You are here: Opinions Horoscope Guide to the stars WEEK OF Nov. 27 – DEC. 3

Guide to the stars WEEK OF Nov. 27 – DEC. 3

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Madame G suggests updating your passport. Black Friday is here to drain your last remaining dollars in the bank. Perhaps travel is in your future, as you take a break from the holidays and run away from relatives. It’s not you, they’re truly mad. But, it’s a mad world. Happy trails!

 

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You’re choking on untapped adventure. You wanted to grab your SO and run off into the sunset, instead of spending Thanksgiving with the in-laws. But, the gods ignored your sacrifices. Barcelona is lovely this time of year. Take a chance. Take a drive. The dog looks bored, you should take her on a walk while dreaming of the Mediterranean.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Halt! Put the cookie down and back away slowly. Madame G is here with reinforcements. You can do it. Your healthier self is not a thing of the past. You can do it! The stress feels like it’s killing you, and it probably will. This is the time for feeling grateful, and if not, gracious. It could be worse.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You’re phenomenal! Keep it up. Don’t fall victim to the maddening crush of Black Friday fervor. Keep calm and carry on. It’s true what they say not all that glitters is gold. Buy experiences not things, unless it’s a Nikon 810 or Panasonic Lumix GF7—then you can photograph adventure. They’re the perfect gifts for the holidays, for you.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Eyes are the windows of the soul and yours are fuming, just keep on keeping on. They didn’t mean it. Take a breath. They’re not worth it. Whatever you’re thinking, no. Instead, look up baby pandas sneezing on YouTube. Kitties are cute. Puppies are cool. Pack your overnight bag and head out for a wild adventure. You need it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Sunny is your middle name. You’ve got every single ball in the air and you couldn’t be happier. Leo’s love the adventure of life. The crazier your world, the happier you appear. Don’t worry, you’ve got this and everyone knows it. No one has any doubts in you, not a single one.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Is a hair out of place? Dear Virgo, don’t panic. Everything will be okay, if you let it. Perfection is your happy place. But, Madame G will let you in on a secret—it doesn’t exist. Find beauty in imperfections and join the land of the living. We all check out in the end. So, drop the ball and head out of town. Let your family host you for once. It’s okay.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.22)

You’re looking a bit stressed. The sudden gray hairs and bags under your eyes give it away. You can’t stand outside Old Navy for 15 hours alone. Those deals don’t buy themselves. You love preparing for Christmas and having everything just so. Is it worth it? Nah! You need your beauty sleep. There’s a pumpkin spice latte and cranberry bliss bar with your name on it. You don’t even have to share.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You’re mad. You can’t figure out what went wrong. Don’t worry Scorpio always prevails in the end. Plus, it’s not always your fault. If you’ve never failed—you’ve never tried. Madame G suggests staying the course. It’s not like you care. Their opinions have never meant a thing to you before. Play with the dog. She’s nice and won’t judge you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This is your month. Adventure is around the corner and your career prospects are looking up. You’ve done the research and taken the risk. You’re ready. But, is everyone on the same page? Family may be pulling you back and holding you down. They’re just scared. Think outside that box. In fact, there’s no box. It’s a bowl of petunias shouting: “Oh, not again.”

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Your career goals are on the right track. But, don’t forget to save for retirement. Help your loved ones out around the house, change the litter box, walk the dog, and mind the baby. Your animals love you, but they’re no escape from reality. Hoarding isn’t just a show on Netflix. It’s a serious condition. You probably need a vacation.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Your enthusiasm for the arts is tested. Some people are driving you to the brink of madness. It’s that time of year. Though it’s not “high brow,” this isn’t Europe and you’re not at the Louvre. Enjoy yourself. But more importantly, allow others the opportunity to enjoy themselves. It’s all in good fun. Best of luck!

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Loved ones are not looking very nice right now. Santa may give every single one of them a lump of coal. Violence is never the answer. You don’t know their journey. They have troubles of their own. Shock the world and put on a tough skin. Madame G suggests wearing iron around your heart, but look out for the dinnerware.